Pat’s Advice (to be taken with a grain of salt)





It was a normal enough year,
(we were a month or so behind.)
Needed an extra pair o’ hands
An’ wanted the useful kind.

Pat said he had some advice
And, for sure, it was for free.
Don’t hire a kid from an Angus place,”
Was what Pat said to me.

Now, I was a mite surprised,
cause Pat, he’s an Angus man.
But older, and wiser he explained
How he’d arrived at his hiring plan.

The kid from an Angus ranch, he said,
Can’t do what he don’t know how.
He’s never had to pull a calf
Or range-treat an Angus cow!

He’s never trimmed a curled up toe
Or treated a pendulous bag.
He don’t know how to dehorn a steer
And a prolapse’d make him gag.

He’s never helped a calf mother-up
Or seen a sunburned udder
Nor searched the range for a baby
Abandoned by its mother.

The Angus-ranch kid, he’s lazy
His horse is downright fat.
He’s great at yarnin’ and singin’
But you don’t want to pay for that.

If you really want a bargain
Get a kid from a Hereford place.
He can do any vettin’ you need done,
He’ll be thin, won’t take up much space.

He’ll be lean and mean and rangy,
And he’ll be grateful to ya, honey.
cause he ain’t used ta reg’lar meals,
And he sure ain’t used ta money!

Pat’s Advice (for Pat Fitzpatrick, Fir Mountain) excerpted from Friends and neighbors, tried and true… by Phyllis Kozroski (Rathwell), 1995