Fire Drill

We were scout’n out insurance
To protect our little spread
’N try’n to do our darndest
To keep out of the red

The first part of each April
Our policy came due
We scratched our heads and wondered
What was the best to do

Insurance men need figures
’N facts about your place
Like how much do ya have
’N the risk that it might face

Liv’n out in the country
The stakes go up a tad
’Cause fires that start out little
Can easily get bad

So one of the big factors
I pondered with my bride
Was how far would the boys
From the fire hall have to ride

One insurance fellow
Said his rate might just go down
If we could put out fires
Before the truck left town

So early in the mornin’
After I went into work
I called home to my sweetheart
’N asked her with a smirk

To fetch a pail of water
And rush out to the barn
Then splash it on the sidin’
And run back was my yarn

How could I have expected
She’d jump at my request
To set the kitchen timer
And run to do her best

And in her mornin’ housecoat
She streaked across the yard
The imaginary fire
Was doomed with her on guard

It wasn’t too much later
From my office where I sat
I heard her at the back door
It was forty seconds flat

I gave her time to settle
So she wouldn’t think me cruel
Then bragged her up by saying
“You’re one rapid APRIL FOOL!”

April Fool excerpted from Mountains, Mounties & Memories: Poetic Passages of a Diamond in the Rough by Bryan J. Smith